For Everything There Is A Season
For every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
KEEPING IN TOUCH
People sometimes seem surprised that Waller Funeral Home has a regular newsletter. They ask "Why?"
In our first issue, in the summer of 1984, we expressed the hope that the newsletter would "remind readers of the blessings we share throughout each season of the year." And our purposes go far beyond that simple hope.
Through the newsletter, we strive to strengthen the underlying philosophy of our service, "Our family serving your family." Staff members have been introduced, describing their funeral service qualifications and duties and also giving personal and family information to show them as caring, family folks, ready and able to serve. Also, by sharing my personal thoughts and feelings, I have tried to strengthen our mutual need to accept human frailties and to recognize our dependence on the love of—God and our families as we face the joys and inevitable sorrows of life.
The newsletter provides an opportunity for a public tribute to those persons who have died and whose families we have served during the period since our last newsletter. Many people who receive the newsletter, especially those who live away from the area, have told us that this list helps them to keep informed of deaths of hometown friends and acquaintances. We have several times exercised our personal privilege by paying special tributes to important people in our family circle—Don’s sister Mildred, our friend Edna McGhee, Don’s stepmother "Miss Emma," and "Mama Sally" Rosson.
Through the newsletter we pass on information about the funeral home facilities, services, staff, and merchandise. News we have reported includes: purchase in 1987 of Oxford-Thomas Funeral Home [Elliott Funeral Home was purchased in 1983.]; purchase in 1987 of Oak Grove Memorial Gardens, now Eastover Memorial Cemetery; and extensive remodeling and addition to the funeral home in 1993. We reported the installations of a new sound system and keyboards (1995), a personal listening system (1998), and a website (2001). Detailed information has been given about caskets, outer receptacles, and monuments. We have occasionally presented answers to questions frequently asked about
funerals and funeral home service in forum format.
The newsletter was used to promote the balloon-raising fund drive for the World War II memorial, which resulted in more than $10,000 raised locally for that project.
Because of our strong feeling about the importance of preplanning and prearrangement, these have been recurring themes in the newsletter.
Grief helps are regularly included in the newsletter. We are always on the lookout for articles with good suggestions for coping with grief. Some of the articles we have shared have given very specific and practical suggestions about ways to help others who are grieving. Special attention has been given to helping children with grief.
The newsletter also contains inspirational and other thought-provoking items. The importance of prayer, appreciation for home and family, and a positive personal outlook have been emphasized. Because of the wealth of material available and the willingness of the authors to share their writings, we have seldom had difficulty finding suitable material. In this issue we have for the first time (at least knowingly) repeated items previously -included- and we indulged in this repetition because of our perception of the quality of the items and because of considerable time lapse since the first printing.
In the newsletter we have described and offered the 60 books and pamphlets on grief and inspirational themes available in our resource center. In addition, we have frequently included book suggestions and reviews.
An incidental benefit of the newsletter has been a readily available history of our business. We can look back at reports on activities and improvements; check the lists of deaths through the years; and find reminders of past employees and glimpses of ourselves in our younger days.
Our mailing list now consists of approximately 5,300 entries. The mailing list is updated before each mailing, with care being taken to make address changes and to add addresses for members of families recently served.
Why then do we have a newsletter? To share information and to show our genuine concern for the people and community we serve. Favorable reaction to the newsletter has caused us to consider this quarterly publication a vital part of maintaining a close relationship with our community. Each issue is a. challenge that we enjoy. Please feel free to let us have your comments and suggestions.
Thank you for letting us serve you!
SINCERELY
PATSY
PAUL HARVEY’S VIEW: DIRT ROADS
What’s mainly wrong with society today is too many Dirt Roads have been paved. There's not a problem in America today-- crime, drugs, education, delinquency, divorce-- that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.
People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride. That it can jar you right down your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home-- a loving spouse, happy kids, and a dog.
We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids from whom they learn how to get along.
There was less crime in our streets before they were paved. Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape if they knew they'd be welcomed by five barking dogs and a double-barrel shotgun. And there were no drive-by shootings.
Our values were better when our roads were worse! People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust and bust your windshield with rocks. Dirt Roads taught patience.
Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk; you walked to the barn for your milk. For your mail, you walked to the mail box. What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, toasted marshmellows and popped popcorn, and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody. At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.
Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole. At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our cars was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.
At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out. Usually you got a dollar--always you got a new friend--at the end of a Dirt Road!
LETTING GO
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.
FUNCTIONS, FACILITIES, EQUIPMENT, AND MERCHANDISE FURNISHED BY WALLER FUNERAL HOME
Functions, facilities, equipment, and merchandise furnished by Waller Funeral Home include the following: transportation of the deceased to the Funeral Home; preparation of the body; assistance in selection of casket and in planning the services and interment; rooms where friends can pay their respects to the deceased and family; the chapel with music system available; grave preparation; transportation for casket, pallbearers, and flowers; acknowledgment cards; obituary service; assistance with death certification; help with burial insurance settlements; requests to pallbearers for their participation; other related services.
The family makes the decisions about what kind of services are desired and the Funeral Home staff carry out the family’s wishes.
HELPING CHILDREN GRIEVE
Tips for guiding children as they deal with loss:
Honesty: Always tell the truth. Explain what happened and why, using simple, direct language. Use the correct words: People die, are dead, were killed.
Reassurance: Let children know the emotions they are experiencing are normal. Grief is more than sadness. It also involves anger, fear, confusion, guilt, and relief.
Behavior: Let children’s actions, as well as their words, guide you to what they are feeling. Children who are sad may be withdrawn, hyperactive, clingy, or destructive; they might feel physically sick or revert to more juvenile behavior.
Explanation: Help children understand the behavior of adults around them. Let them know it isn’t their fault, for instance, that someone is angry, tearful, silent, or withdrawn.
Fun: Let children remain children. Do not thrust them into adult roles because of a loss. Grieving children need routines, structure, and discipline so their lives can remain as normal as possible. Children and teens do not lose their need to socialize and have fun.
Ritual: Allow children to participate in the rituals of saying goodbye. Funerals are for the whole family. Children should have the choice of whether or not to attend services after they are given a clear, detailed description of what to expect. Smaller children can be included for shorter periods.
Help: Know when to get professional help. Any kind of extreme behavior—suicide threats, destructive acts toward people or property, panic attacks, drug or alcohol abuse—is an obvious red flag.
Other warnings signs are more subtle: an unwillingness to socialize, decline in schoolwork, or denial that the death occurred.
—Kansas City Hospice
THE CODE OF GOOD FUNERAL PRACTICE
Selected Independent Funeral Homes
[Since March 1988, WaIler Funeral Home has been a member of Selected Independent Funeral Homes (formerly known as National Selected Morticians), an organization of leading funeral directors in more than 800 cities in this country and abroad. Since its founding in 1917, its members have been dedicated to creating and upholding the highest standards of funeral service. A primary purpose of SIFH is to bring together funeral directors of high ideals to provide the broadest spectrum of knowledge, experience, and skills on behalf of the families and communities they serve. Membership is by invitation and is extended only after meticulous observation of character, service, performance, responsibility, and facilities.]
As funeral directors, our calling imposes upon us special responsibilities to those we serve and to the public at large. An important obligation is to provide information so that everyone can make knowledgeable decisions about funerals and funeral directors.
In acceptance of our responsibilities, and as a condition of our membership in Selected Independent Funeral Homes, we affirm the following standards of good funeral practice and hereby pledge:
- To provide the public with information about funerals, including prices, and about the functions, services, and responsibilities of funeral directors.
- To afford a continuing opportunity to all persons to discuss or arrange funerals in advance.
- To make funerals available in as wide a range of price categories as necessary to meet the need of all segments of the community, and affirmatively to extend to everyone the right of inspecting and freely considering all of them.
- To quote conspicuously in writing the charges for every funeral offered and to identify clearly the services, facilities, equipment, and merchandise included in such quotations.
- To furnish to each family at the time funeral arrangements are made, a written memorandum of charges and to make no additional charge without the approval of the purchaser.
- To make no representation, written or oral, which may be false or misleading, and to apply a standard of honesty in all dealings.
- To respect all faiths, creeds, and customs, and to give full effect to the role of the clergy.
- To maintain a qualified and competent staff, complete facilities, and suitable equipment required for comprehensive funeral service.
- To assure those we serve the right of personal choice and decision in making funeral arrangements.
- To be responsive to the needs of the poor, serving them within their means.
- To comply fully with the requirements of the FTC Trade Regulation Rule on Funeral Practices (USA).
We pledge to conduct ourselves in every way and at all times in such a manner as to deserve the public trust, and to place a copy of this Code of Good Funeral Practice in the possession of a representative of all parties with whom we arrange funerals.
COPING
Here are some suggestions for coping with the death of a loved one, from experts Janet Bode and David Techner:
-Release your emotions physically, but safely—punch a pillow, dance, run, etc.
+ Fill a shoebox of mementos of you and your friend to go through on "a lousy day."
Write a letter to the person who died.
-Develop a daily routine. Look for things that will always be the same.
+ Grief has its own schedule. If you can’t concentrate on something, think about the person for a set amount of time, then get back to what you were doing before.
Reprinted with permission
from The Clarion Ledger
IN MEMORIAM
We dedicate this issue of Seasons to those who died and whose families we served from February 5, 2002 through May 12, 2002.
Mrs. Canary Stribling Foster - February 5, 2002
Mrs. Marjorie Wilson Ramey - February 6, 2002
Miss Frances Ethel Walker - February 9, 2002
Mrs. Etta Mae Boatright Black - February 12, 2002
Mrs. Sue Orsburn Elder - February 14, 2002
Dr. Charles Merrill Gross - February 14, 2002
Mr. Peter Richard Aschoff - February 15, 2002
Mrs. Leola Fox Jackson - February 17, 2002
Mr. William Eugene "Bill" Webster, Sr. - February 23, 2002
Mr. Egbert F "Sleepy" Yerby - February 24, 2002
Mrs. Minnie Ragland Shaver - February 24, 2002
Dr. Samuel DeJohn, Jr - February 28, 2002
Ms. Janice Kay Fuller Gatlin - March 1, 2002
Mrs. Elaine Lusk Slade - March 2, 2002
Mrs. Lois Colman Thompson - March 5, 2002
Miss Gloria Jean Krumcke - March 6, 2002
Mrs. Mildred Louise Oswalt - March 7, 2002
Mr. James Morris Barbee - March 7, 2002
Mrs. Woodson Bramlett Boyden - March 8, 2002
Mrs. Charlotte Grimes Barlow - March 11, 2002
Mrs. Jennifer Hunt McGonagill - March 11, 2002
Mr. Trenor Thompson - March 12, 2002
Mr. Harry George Peters - March 14, 2002
Mrs. Mary Owen McCullouch - March 19, 2002
Mrs. Dorothy "Dot" Jones Atkinson - March 19, 2002
Mrs. Lorene Wiley Smith - March 19, 2002
Mr. Anthony Michael Swinko - March 20, 2002
Mrs. Mae Perry Catledge - March 20, 2002
Mrs. Dorothy M. Tramel Ploszaj - March 23, 2002
Mr. William B. Adams - March 29, 2002
Mrs. Agnes Pearl Clanton - March 29, 2002
Mr. Ulmer T. "Buddy" Bullock, Jr - March 31, 2002
Mrs. Nell Bishop Barton - March 31, 2002
Mr. Gilbert Loyd Kelly - April 1, 2002
Mr. Benjamin "Ben" Markette, Jr. - April 2, 2002
Mr. Henry Victor "Vic" Lovelady - April 3, 2002
Mr. Harold Eugene Haney - April 3, 2002
Mrs. Joan Goodwin Webb - April 5, 2002
Mr. Lemuel Oscar Varner - April 7, 2002
Mrs. Carease Harrison Walker - April 10, 2002
Mr. Little Jim Bishop - April 10, 2002
Mrs. Annie Hull Hathorn - April 13, 2002
Mrs. Leslie Louise Reeves - April 18, 2002
Dr. Frankiin Edwin Moak, Sr. - April 20, 2002
Mrs. Ruby Bishop Tidwell - April 28, 2002
Mrs. Clara Dale Bevill Nelson - April 30, 2002
Mrs. Gladys Hall Cook - May 1, 2002
Mrs. Vera Campbell Arnold - May 1, 2002
Mr. Roy Allen Galloway - May 2, 2002
Mrs. Merry Alpha Gardner Downs - May 3, 2002
Mrs. Susie Cooper Jackson - May 4, 2002
Mr. Benjamin Cleveland Wakefield - May 9, 2002
Mrs. Alma Gochenour Lewis - May 11, 2002
Mrs. Q-Milla New Foster May 12, 2002
Mr. Edward Leon Keel May 12, 2002
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