HEALING OF THE SPIRIT
"Let not the sun go down upon your wrath." (Ephesians 4:26b)
God has used this admonition quite dramatically in my life a number of times. Each time I was immeasurably blessed.
In 1975 our church voted to renovate, not restore, our more than 100-year-old sanctuary. I thought my heart would break as the random-width, hand-planed, tongued-and-grooved, heart-pine floor was being torn out and replaced with concrete. At each state of the development, I became more and more bitter. Only a few others in the congregation felt as strongly as I did about renovation versus restoration. I was out of harmony with my fellow church members, the Lord, and even myself much of the time. I was ever so miserable! In time God began to lead me to realize that any witness I may have had as a Christian was being greatly tarnished by harsh unkind thoughts and words and by my attitude of anger.
After the church was completely renovated, it was and is truly beautiful. The porcelain chandeliers, the soft green carpet, the colonial-style pews, and the millwork of the pulpit, choir loft, and baptistry are blended in Williamsburg-period styling to provide a very pleasing and worshipful setting. None of these things were as important as the giant eating away at my heart, the giant of resentment. Thankfully through the years God has often brought me to a place of asking forgiveness of others with whom I am out of fellowship. My relationship with Him is never as precious when I have ill feelings in my heart for others. Over a period of time he convinced me that I would have no peace in my heart until I had apologized to my church family for my un-Christlike actions and asked their forgiveness. With strength which could have come only from God, I did make that apology before the congregation and asked their forgiveness. I was reminded of the 1888 minutes of our church when a brother or sister was asked to appear before the congregation for consideration of ‘unchristian activities.’ One young couple I felt strongly I must speak with were not at church on this occasion. Immediately after the service I went to their home, acknowledged my feelings, asked their forgiveness, then we all prayed that we would be stronger Christians.
What a wonderful feeling of release I enjoyed! It was as if chains had been torn away from my heart. I believe wholeheartedly I could never have enjoyed complete peace until I had done this — nor could God have used me for His work while this barrier existed.
Another time, which I have often referred to as one of the greatest blessings of my life, came on one of the worst nights in my life, the night my brother Jim died. In prior writings I have told about Jim, my love for him, and the heartbreak of his life as it was ruined by alcoholism. On Saturday afternoon, February 27, 1965, Jim and I had a very unpleasant confrontation. Harsh, deeply hurting words were exchanged. I had felt justified in my anger because I was concerned about Daddy and the effect circumstances were having upon him with his heart condition. Jim said, "Someday I won’t be here to cause all of you so much trouble." I had hoped that those who talk about it never do it, and we parted on that note. Through Saturday afternoon and night and on into Sunday I was miserable. The exchange Jim and I had had was certainly not a typical one in our family. On Sunday, February 28, 1965, our church bulletin included a message entitled "Judge not lest ye be judged." One sentence was especially significant to me: "Only he who knows the secrets of a man’s heart can rightly judge."
I read the bulletin through two worship services and then that night as I walked into the house from church I went directly to the telephone and called Daddy’s house. Jim answered the telephone and I began to tell him how sorry I was I had been so unkind and asked him to forgive me. He said he wanted to read me something and he began reading from Daddy’s church bulletin. I interrupted him to say I had read it for almost two hours that day and that was why I was calling — that I knew I didn’t understand but promised to try harder. I told him I loved him and would see him tomorrow when everything would be better. He said, "I love you too, Pat," and our conversation ended. Forty-five minutes later the call came that he had shot himself.
How could I have faced that night and those following without having made peace with him? I know God prompted me to make that call through His love for me. Later God revealed to me that the tomorrow when I see Jim will in fact be better. A young minister had witnessed to Jim and Jim had accepted Christ as his Savior. He had made his profession of faith public and had been baptized at North Oxford Baptist Church. How our family had rejoiced! Quite typically, none of us had been able to share effectively with him our concern that he come to know the Lord. He was faithful in worship attendance for a time but then slipped back. He never knew the joy and the blessings of living close to the Lord daily.
Another time when God led me in an effort to right a wrong was minor by comparison with the heart-wrenching experiences above. As I shopped in a local business, the salesperson and I had a misunderstanding, and we were both very short spoken. Within an hour I was back at her counter apologizing and asking that she please forgive my rudeness. I think she was so stunned she did not realize at the time just what I was saying, but I felt immensely relieved to have unloaded my guilt for my part in our unpleasantness.
Another incident which occurred about thirty years ago began bothering me sometime ago. I do not recall all the details — I simply remember that Susan, Beth, and their little cousin Myra were on the back seat of my car. I was experiencing an especially trying day — too full of too many happenings — and just then I did not have time to be bothered by these three little girls. Some minor remark or action from them set off a tirade of terrible fury from me. I unloaded all the pent-up feelings on those three innocent little people. They had had no part in bringing about the circumstances, yet I vented all my mixed-up emotions on them.
As I remembered this occasion from time to time, I determined that I would ask Myra’s forgiveness. It seemed that she had been the object of most of my remarks and the mirrored image of her stricken little face haunted me. When I had an opportunity to approach Myra and began recalling the day, she said, "Aunt Patsy, I remember that day." I was surprised that she still remembered. How very grateful I am that I talked with her and after all these years asked her forgiveness for that awful wrong I had inflicted. No amount of fatigue or other burden justifies unkindness to the precious young lives entrusted to us for such a short time. Is there a mother who has not stood over the little one sleeping and asked God for more patience the next day?
You and I can speak of forgiveness and enjoy its blessings because God willingly gave his Son to come, live among men, and die that we might know and claim that greatest forgiveness of all — His forgiveness of our sins. We know this carried with it the promise of eternal life. As we face the heartbreaks of life, we can know that He is waiting to receive us if we have acknowledged and received Him. This same promise provides us the joy of knowing that we will again be with those we love who are already there in His presence.
For some time I have wanted to share these thoughts with you. Although the incidents are very personal, putting them down on paper and sharing them with you strengthens me. Have you suppressed some wrongs which you need to face? God’s healing of our spirits is indeed wonderful.
Sincerely,
Patsy
SIDNEY L. "SID" WOLFE, A licensed insurance agent, was added to our staff in February 1990. He can help you with your insurance needs and with pre-planning and prearranging funeral services. He also helps with funeral services and in other areas of the funeral business when he is needed.
Sid is a native of Tallahatchie County. He and his wife, the former Bonnie Boatright, who met while they were students at Sunflower Junior College, have lived in Oxford since 1962. They operated Sid Wolfe Sporting Goods for twelve years, and Sid operated Midtown Muffler for twelve years. They have two children, Sidney McCain, of the Anchor community, and Lynn Wolfe, of Jackson, Mississippi. They have four grandchildren. Sid and Bonnie are members of Anchor Baptist Church, where Sid is a deacon.
Sid says the six months at Waller Funeral Home have been a busy but fulfilling time during which he has enjoyed meeting new and old friends.
We are glad to have Sid as part of our staff and invite you to talk with him about your insurance and about the many choices in preplanning and prearranging of funeral services.
To forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.
Chinese Proverb
IN MEMORIAM
We dedicate this issue of SEASONS to those who have died and whose families we have served from April 30, 1990, to July 30, 1990.
Mrs. Minnie Green Carter 4/30/90
Mrs. Diamond Roberts Webb 5/2/90
Mrs. Stella Welch Wingo 5/4/90
Mrs. Mary Irene Crowson 5/5/90
Mr. Amoit P. Hewlett 5/5/90
Mrs. Mildred "Midge" Dickerson 5/8/90
Mr. Buron T. Shepherd 5/9/90
Mrs. Kathryn Sue Falkner Price 5/11/90
Mr. Charlie Lee Jenkins 5/12/90
Mrs. Oda Modell Churchill 5/14/90
Dr. Harold Charles Hem 5/15/90
Mr. Winford Loyd Hillhouse 5/16/90
Mr. Gaston Hill Gibson, Sr. 5/17/90
Mrs. Velia Knight Wilkins 5/18/90
Mrs. Katherine M. Killilea 5/20/90
Mr. DeWitt Virgil Wilburn 5/22/90
Mrs. Clara Mae Hall Coaten 5/24/90
Mrs. Velma Childress Cain 5/25/90
Mrs. Clarence Naomi Faught 5/26/90
Mr. William Lee Heard, Sr. 6/3/90
Mr. John Horace Pruitt, Sr. 6/7/90
Mr. Troy Brummett Davis 6/11/90
Mrs. Ameilia Mickeluinas Fahey 6/12/90
Mrs. Clara Huckaby Coleman 6/12/90
Mrs. Netter Brian Lusk 6/14/90
Mrs. Lois Smith Pryor 6/15/90
Mrs. Bessie Henry Phillips 6/18/90
Mrs. Helaine Kautenberger Harris 6/19/90
Mr. Henry Lawrence Buckley 6/21/90
Mr. Frank Raymond Fleming 6/24/90
Mr. John D. Andrews, Jr. 6/30/90
Mr. R. S. Truss 7/3/90
Mr. James Elbert Peters 7/11/90
Mr. Harold L. Gean 7/14/90
Mr. Billy Kay Gant 7/14/90
Mrs. Evelyn Duval Williams 7/16/90
Mrs. Ellen Osberg Vechinski 7/19/90
Mrs. Genevieve Conner Wilson 7/19/90
Mrs. Margaret Rowland Black 7/20/90
Mr. Buford E. McLarty 7/26/90
Mr. J. B. Parker 7/26/90
BOOK SUGGESTION
Roses in December, by Marilyn Heavilin. Available in paperback only.
Roses in December will help you to deal with your loss, understand your grief, and find your own roses in the dark days of your life.
For Marilyn Heavilin, it was the death of her three sons. First it was Jimmy, who died of crib death at seven weeks old. Less than two years later, ten-day-old Ethan died of pneumonia, and 17 years after that his twin brother, Nathan, was killed in a
head-on collision, the victim of a drunk driver.
Marilyn has developed a keen sensitivity toward understanding and comforting others through the grieving process. God showed Marilyn that even in the Decembers — the winter of life — He will provide roses, those special occasions, special people, and special memories to give us the strength to walk through our sorrows. (quoted from the back cover of the book)
PRENEED IS HERE
The popularity of preplanning and prearranging funerals is growing every day all over the nation as more and more people realize how sensible it is to plan ahead.
We offer many customized plans to fit your needs, even if you are not planning burial in this area. Our payment plans are very flexible with options including payment in full, time-payment, and insurance-funded payment.
We welcome the opportunity to discuss plans with you. There is no charge or other obligation for these consultations.
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