A SPECIAL FRIEND Remembrances and Tribute
Edna Kelly McGhee A Very Special Friend June 13, 1934—March 20, 2001

With a heart full of praise and thanksgiving for the life of Mrs. Edna Kelly McGhee, which ended on March 20, 2001, I offer this tribute. At this time of the year when our attention is directed toward mothers, Edna’s life exemplified loving care of her family and others. The meaning of motherhood and of friendship were enhanced by her diligence and loyalty.

When Edna was diagnosed with cancer in June of last year, we all held high hopes for months that radiation would control the spread of the disease which was first detected as a small spot on one of her lungs. Edna accepted the diagnosis with serenity and assured me and others that she was not going to worry about the outcome—that God was in control. She was His child and she was committing her health to Him for whatever might come. Time and time again through the months as Edna and I talked and I told her I was praying for her, she always commented that that was all anyone could do.

One series of treatments led to others, with Edna and her family experiencing the anxious days and nights which come to all too many families in the fight against this devastating disease. When the cancer seemed to be winning the fight, Edna’s family, in desperation, took her to a clinic in Rock Island, Illinois, where one of her daughters lives. On Tuesday, March 20, the day before she was to have the last of a series of chemotherapy, she suffered a heart attack and died immediately. The sudden death was a shock to those who knew and loved Edna.

Edna had been an employee and like one of our family for more than thirty years. Far beyond this, she had been a treasured friend to each member of our family. She was a trusted confidante of our children through their adolescence, listening patiently to their woes, often directed at me and my requirements of them. She was helpful to them and yet at the same time supported me. She took time with them. Our daughter Susan cooks more like Edna—the ultimate standard of excellence—than any of us. Edna taught her in the best way, taking time to let her cook.

Her friendship did not stop within our immediate family but included our extended family and many of our close friends. They understood our tie to Edna. They too enjoyed her friendship and mourn her death.

Edna was a devout Christian. She loved the Lord and expressed this in faithful attendance and service to her church, South Hopewell Missionary Baptist Church, the same church where she had come to know the Lord as a child. She was a member of the choir, the usher board, and other auxiliaries. She was pleased when the church could have a fellowship hall. One special use for the fellowship hall was as a place to serve meals for revival ministers and Edna was excited when it was her turn to assist with a meal, and she sought and prepared special recipes. She also believed in supporting her church with her monetary offerings.

Edna’s "Farewell Celebration" was held at the Tallahatchie-Oxford Missionary Baptist Building on March 24. Our children (Andy, Susan, and Beth), granddaughter Mary Beth, and I attended. [Don very much regretted he had an out-of-town commitment.]

Although my ear problem kept me from hearing what was said, I was touched by the dignity, sacredness, and personal touch of the funeral. I was especially sorry not to be able to hear Edna's friends' comments when they were invited to come forward and briefly share what Edna had meant to them. My family told me the recurring theme was Edna’s trust in God. One person recounted that when someone sought advice, Edna would suggest "Keep holding on." Andy spoke for our entire family, expressing our deep appreciation of Edna and all the good she represented. The huge crowd in attendance and numerous lovely floral offerings gave evidence of the love of Edna’s many friends.

Edna was buried in the cemetery of Providence United Methodist Church, where her husband and some of her children are members. The cemetery is very near their home off Hurricane Road west of Abbeville. Andy and I went to the cemetery for the graveside service, and I was honored when Edna’s children asked that I sit with them for this time. The entire service was well planned by Edna’s children and well conducted by Reverend Terry Wortham with the assistance of Reverend Leroy Wadlington, Reverend Wayne Bass, and Reverend Kenneth Bonner. I was comforted by all parts of the service. Edna must have looked down with loving appreciation for the proceedings.

Edna was a few years younger than I; however, she was wiser in many ways. She often tactfully pointed out to me how a task I was struggling with might be accomplished in an easier way. She took pride in her work and went about doing what needed to be done. I admired the fact that though she did not enjoy cooking, she did not let this keep her from being an extremely good cook—and I often complimented her not only on her cooking but also on going cheerfully about this task. Everyone in the family had favorite Edna dishes; two everyone agreed on were fried chicken and turnip greens.

Edna showed true friend~hip lii many ways. When she recognized the importance of an event to me, she often rearranged her own schedule to help me. If I asked for her opinion, she would not simply tell me what she felt I wanted to hear. She would truthfully (but kindly) share her thoughts. Her bits of wisdom were often expressed in her own special way—clear and descriptive. One morning a number of years ago, I was out of sorts with everything and everybody. Edna let my attitude rock along for a time, then she said, "Miss Patsy, you need to remember you ain’t the only one it’s raining on." Perfect grammar could never say it that well! It takes a good friend to tell you what you might prefer not to hear.

When two people have the bond of friendship, being together is a pleasure. When Edna and I were working together, we thoroughly enjoyed visiting, often talking of our church activities and about our children and grandchildren. Sometimes we shared the troubling aspects in our lives, each of us with complete confidence that whatever we said was secure in our friend. Edna was a good person to have as a friend.

During the past several years Edna came to our house only one day a week. On those days I asked only that she cook special things. Between these days, I often called her to ask her to pray for a friend, for a burden I was working through, or for a troubling time in my own life.

Edna and her husband James reared a family of six fine children and enjoyed helping with the grandchildren. She set a good example in self esteem and in respect for others. I knew Edna’s mother, Mrs. Allie Kelly, many years ago, and Edna learned many of the good traits she passed on to her children from her mother. James had a stroke nine years ago, and Edna faithfully cared for his every need in their home—even during her illness as long as she was able.

I miss Edna I find myself thinking of her as though she is at her home. I see people on the lake fishing—one of her favorite pastimes—and look to see if the car might be hers. She fished not too long before she was hospitalized for the last time. I find myself at the telephone thinking of checking on her only to stop short when I remember she is not there. In God’s own time, I will be with Edna again and we can pick up where we left off.

SINCERELY,
Patsy

WHAT SORT OF FRIEND?

I’d like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me,
I’d like to be the help that you are always glad to be,
I’d like to mean as much to you each minute of the day
As you have meant,
Good Friend of Mine,
to me along the way;
And this is just to wish somehow
that I could but repay
A portion of the gladness
that you’ve strewn along my way,
And could I have one wish this year
this only would it be,
I’d like to be the sort of friend
that you have been to me!

—Edgar A. Guest

SHINING ARMOR—A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend; one human soul whom we can trust utterly; who knows the best and the worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults; who will speak the honest truth to us, while the world flatters us to our face and laughs at us behind our back; who will give us counsel and reproof in the day of prosperity and self-conceit; but who, again, will comfort and encourage us in the day of difficulty and sorrow when the world leaves us alone to fight our own battle as we can.

— Charles Kingsley

A FRIEND

A friend is one to whom
one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart
chaff and grain together;
knowing that the gentlest of hands
will take and sift it,
keep what is worth keeping
and with a breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.

—Dinah Maria Mulock Craik